{rant} Am I buying O.P.I. nail polish or a Roles Royce?

June 21, 2011 § 1 Comment

While I realize that $8.50 cannot get you close to even a monthly payment on a Roles Royce, I find it ridiculous that I must shell out enough to buy a burrito bowl and a drink at Chipotle for a small bottle of “nail lacquer.” Sidenote: why do they call it nail lacquer? It sounds somewhat like liquor. Anyway, I don’t get it. While this isn’t a rant about O.P.I., it is about the price tag that Marie Antoinette and the rest of French royalty would’ve been comfortable with.

This may sound petty. Sure, I could buy Wet ‘n Wild nail polish and cease my rant about the price tag of something that half of our population (read: men) don’t wear. Unfortunately, I find Wet ‘n Wild to have the consistency of the paste that weird boys liked to eat in the first grade. I’m not gonna put that stuff on my nails and risk having them gnawed off when I babysit my six-year-old nephew. Plus, Wet ‘n Wild also reminds me of the days that I wore body glitter, rocked a mouth full with ten pounds of mental and the same color pants, shirt and hair scrunchy, all from the fashion powerhouse known as Limited Too. Not a time I necessarily would like to relive.

Simple color, right? Try guessing the name.

 Maybe the high price I am paying supports the salary of the person who names the nail polishes. I wish I could make that position sound better, but I’m unaware of whether or not there is a specific title for that job. For example, the nail polish pictured above is called so little clowns, so little time. In what way does that correlate to that bottle of polish? I will say, however, the names make the nail polish buying a little more fun. I want to see if this position is something I could apply for; names such as booger variety tissue decoration and blush of a woman laughing as she realizes her dress is tucked into her underwear really shouldn’t be in my head, but rather on a bottle of light green and pink bottles of nail lacquer.

Bottom line: The nail polish is great, so just plug your ears when the sales girl tells you the total. But, continue to remember how ridiculous it is.


§ One Response to {rant} Am I buying O.P.I. nail polish or a Roles Royce?

  • Katie Pretzlav says:

    Oh, how apropo this post is, as I just bought two new colors today (don’t tell my mom, she already yelled at me for having two almost-full gallon bags). I completely agree with this post. I like to think I’m saving money when I buy Essie but, unfortunately, I’m paying the same amount for a different bottle. And yes, Wet and Wild, NYC Nails, and even the great Sally Hansen cannot compete with the themed marvels that OPI and Essie pump out every two weeks.

    I personally think OPI should hire me for the following reasons: 1. I probably have personally funded the purchase of the CEO’s second yacht, as well as her daughter’s wardrobe purchased at Justice for Girls. They owe me. 2. I would LOVE to sit in a bright, sunny room all day coming up with funny, yet endearing, names for nail polish so that girls like me want to buy the color even though they already have something similar. But the name is just too damn cute to refuse! 3. I want employee discounts. There, I said it. I cannot afford the lifestyle of keeping myself in new nail polish in my post-grad condition. I’m desperate.

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