hi hope you are having a good day!

October 19, 2011 § Leave a comment

hi hope you are having a good day!

Appreciation and Poo Jokes. Yes, I realize that sounds gross.

June 28, 2011 § Leave a comment

I haven’t posted yet this week because I am currently on vacation with my family. I have done nothing but sit on the porch and stare at the ocean (the beautiful view from our house seen below), read One Fifth Avenue by Candace Bushnell and play with my niece and nephew. The place we are staying at is gorgeous and I am absolutely loving the relaxation time after the craziness that was graduation a few weeks ago.

Also, my family thinks drinking at noon on vacation is acceptable and that poo jokes are still hilarious, so I’m content. One any only downside: the only coffee supplied is decaf. Could someone please explain to me the need for decaf coffee? To me, it’s just as boggling as the size and shape of Donatos pizza slice sizes (I always end up eating 47 of those stupid squares because, like a good American, I’m use to the oversize triangles) and how Carrie Bradshaw affords her extravagant lifestyle on a columns discussing the male sex organ.

A short walk from the beach and a beautiful pool. What more could I want? Other than a fat pug.

From the writer of Sex & the City! I realize it might be a shallow read, but I read Shakespeare throughout college, so I've paid my dues.

The abundance of relaxation and sun have made me realize how lucky I am. Therefore, I have decided to make a list of things in my life that I appreciate. I know you’re all supremely eager to know why I enjoy my life (not) so read on, my adoring fans.

  • Catching up with friends when they’re across the country.
  • Knowing my mom will always have the best advice.
  • Watching The Lion King with my nephew and singing along with all the songs.
  • Having the support of my family all through school and now during rampant job searching (SOMEONE HIRE ME).
  • Being excited about starting the next chapter of my life, even though that sounds extremely cliché and Carrie Bradshaw-esque.
  • Hearing that people enjoy reading my blog!
Have a lovely day!
-e

A rare nugget of positivity without sarcasm.

April 14, 2011 § Leave a comment

As I sat on the couch this morning writing an Italian essay in practice for class, I thought about how horrible I am at Italian. I have been taking it for almost two years and I still do not know how to say simple phrases, such as “can I eat the pizza?” or “dogs make me cry in joy.” Then I was taking my daily look at my lovely friend Andi’s blog and saw this cute little pic that made me smile:

So just think about that the next time you think you’re going to fail a test or screw up an interview. It’s amazing what you can do with self-confidence! Have a loverly day y’all. (And I meant to say loverly. I’m trying to be cute and kitschy. ACCEPT ME.)

PS – if you want a website to scroll around on check out this one! If the painful expressions (why????) aren’t enough to make you giggle their outfits are AWESOME.

“My family went to Disney World and all I got was this stupid t-shirt!!”

April 13, 2011 § 2 Comments

I am now going to post pictures of three things that are very important in my life right now. I have decided to be very methodical today, therefore I will post  the three pictures and give descriptions in numbered order after them. This is the business part of the post, and the party will follow with the picture descriptions. Although this joke is overdone and was somewhat popular when I was in eighth grade, this post is like a mullet. Business in the front, party in the back. Cue the recorded laughter used in every episode of Full House and America’s Funniest Home Videos. (I HATE America’s Funniest Home Videos. The videos ARE NOT funny. The videos usually consist of some drunk uncle or four-year old hurting themselves doing something stupid. And sometimes dogs. Which is somewhat cute.) So here are the pics:

 

 

 

{First photo} I LOVE EASTER CANDY. I think it is my favorite candy season. And if I could only eat two things for the rest of my life, the first would be fishsticks (ketchup included) and the second would be Cadbury Eggs. Not mixed together, mind you, but those damn eggs are so delicious, when I was younger I would cry if my mom didn’t let me get one every time I saw them. The deliciously disgusting center that is basically sugar and fat and what makes thighs blow up is pure beauty to me.

{Second photo} Kroger had the most flowers beautiful yesterday! I was shopping and was pushing a cart filled with the girlie-est of products (shaving cream, eyeliner, mascara, Special K Chocolate, Skinny Cow dessert bars, Cosmopolitan) and felt the addition of flowers for only $4.00 was too good to pass up. I’ve heard that flowers are the some of the cheapest ways to make a person feel happy.

{Third photo}  OMG THE DAWG IS PURPLE, FAT AND OLD!!!!! My obsession with fat dogs will never end, and this one was absolutely hilarious. She totally had an attitude and reminded me of my old doggie Skiddles (because she used to skid across the kitchen floor as a puppy) because when she walked her stomach touched the floor and she was always really bored with people. I feel like that will be me when I’m in a nursing home; just sitting in a chair staring at people wearing a shirt that says “My family went to Disney World and all I got was this stupid t-shirt!!” I also will not play card games or bingo.

 

Have a lovely day!

Don’t do the Jheri curl.

April 12, 2011 § Leave a comment

I will not be filling this white space with my witty banter today, but instead posting the pictures of two things necessary to survive a rainy day such as the one Athens is currently experiencing. Personally, I love the rain. It might come from the emo stages of my youth in which I felt the rain reflected my soul (I literally think I once wrote that phrase in my diary), but I think it is because rain calms me down. To me, rain means relaxing, lounging and recharging. Along with a comfy couch, here are the two things I feel everyone needs on a rainy day:

 

A CUDDLE BUDDY!! Obviously my first choice is a pug, but any soft creature (or human I suppose) will do.

Some delicious, warm, comforting soup. My personal choice is tomato tortellini, but any soup will do.

 

As I said, a comfy couch and a blanket would probably make days like these even better, but that is up to your discretion. Here are a few things that I recommend avoiding on a rainy day (this comes from personal experience, y’all):

  • Trying to carry coffee, hold an umbrella, grab a newspaper and open a door at the same time. You will drop the coffee and paper at the same time and you will then drop the umbrella while trying to clean up your mess, and end up looking like a wet, un-caffeinated dog.
  • Don’t straighten your hair. Unless you have naturally straight hair, after being outdoors for around ten minutes you will start to look like you’re attempting to rock the Jheri curl look. And no one has ever been able to effectively rock the Jheri curl. Just google image Michael Jackson in the 1980’s.
  • Wearing flats with no traction. I don’t need to explain the embarrassment you will feel as you slide across the floor and land on your derriere. It will get worse when three people come up to you, asking if you’re alright because “that looked really bad.”

I wish I was joking about the last one. Have a lovely, however rainy, day!

 

Holy Hummus

March 13, 2011 § Leave a comment

I will do anything to avoid studying for finals. It’s difficult for me to focus my energy for an entire day or two on something that will last less than two hours. This means that I will re-organize my entire closet, watch a marathon of Sister Wives, dust my room, write a blog post .. you name it, I’ll do it if it means I don’t have to memorize Italian grammatical tenses. The highest procrastinating activity on my list? Eating. There is no better way to keep me away from studying then when a bag of popcorn or a spoonful of peanut butter is in my hands. I should probably make my food choices more healthy, but there’s something satisfying about eating handful after handful of Cheez-its when I’m avoiding the books.

I’ve been reading SnackFace a lot lately, which has made me think more about putting healthy food down the hatch instead of fatty, salty foods that make me feel like a walking potato chip. Therefore this finals week, I’m deciding to try my best a snacking on healthier options; i.e carrots, hummus, wheat crisps and nature valley bars. I think this is a good decision not only for health reasons but also so I don’t sink the cruise ship I’ll be getting on in a week with one step. The Titanic’s story would pale in comparison to my single-step-sinking.

Have a lovely day!

Buh-bye buttery and garlic-salty popin' corn!

Hello delicious, red pepper-y hummus!

PS- Doesn’t that hummus look AMAZING?? Check out the recipe here!

I never realized how passive agressive Betty Crocker is until today.

February 15, 2011 § Leave a comment

Even though it’s only the second day of the week, I’m stressed. The to-do list that I compiled last week has slipped over and my head is annoyed by that, telling me by throwing migraines my way. However,Valentines day was a sweet interruption of my dark cloud, and I’m trying to let that feeling stay with me through the week. The one thing I’m trying to not allow to come with me is the multitude of baked goods that  have been sitting as seductively as a Victoria’s Secret model in front of my face. Of course, cupcakes can’t make their boobs look as big as the scantily-clad models (that’s funny because cupcakes are inanimate objects and don’t have boobs HAHA), they are as appealing to me as those models are to thirteen year old boys. I’ve come to the conclusion that Betty Crocker is as rude as they come, a woman sitting on a box asking us to eat the most delicious food and silently laughing as our waists grow. Bitchy.

Ugh, I’m giving opinions to objects that don’t have opinions again. Hopefully the doctors can sure me someday. Kidding and stuff.

Seriously. This is a face of evil. (via metroplaces)

I should digress. It’s unimportant to talk of how I’ve made a loved figure in American baking history into a criminal. Therefore I’m going to end on a note of how sometimes weeks can be very aggravating but they are made better by taking a solid stance on what I want to get done rather than consuming iced mochas paired with muffins that have chocolate and peanut butter chips in them.

This post was not intended to be negative but I guess Betty Crocker just does it to me. Imma try to get out of my funk and come back refreshed so that I can stop creating posts that make people feel worse than when they listen to Avril Lavigne. Have a great Tuesday!

If not for grungy campus housing, I would bubble bath my life away tonight.

PS: One thing I don’t regret: cake balls. I cannot even begin to describe the experience I had while eating them, I might or might not of cried due to my intense feelings for them. Check out the recipe and you’ll understand.

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